Teah Hopper 0:03
So I have food allergies. And when I first figured out I was the food that I was eating, it was actually making me sick. But I did just stop eating. Like that wasn't realistic, right? So but what did I do, I paid attention to what I was eating, when I was eating, how much I was eating it. And so I think it's very similar to what we're talking about digital wellness is like, it's, it's not saying you can't ever be on Facebook. And it's not saying, you know, you're not ever going to be on your phone, it's saying, let's just be aware of when we're on it, what we're consuming, how often we're consuming it and how it makes us feel and they didn't really stop being on some things or stopping on at certain times per day, or, you know, while using it less. And just making sure that it's it's it's healthy, and what we're consuming is good for us and maybe we decide to go on a, you know, Amazon binge, but know that we shouldn't do that all the time.
Monica Pitts 1:02
You're on mission, and you just need more people to know about it. And whether you're brand new to marketing or a seasoned pro. We are all looking for answers to make marketing decisions with purpose. I'm Monica Pitts, a techie crafty business owner, mom and aerial dancer who solves communication challenges through technology. This podcast is all about digging in and going digital. I'll share my marketing know how and business experience from almost 20 years of misadventures. I'll be your backup dancer. So you can stop doubting, and get moving towards marketing with purpose. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to marketing with purpose. My name is Monica Pitts. And I am the lucky winner of hosts today because I get to hang out with our friend Tia Hopper again. Now you guys probably remember her from the last episode that she did with us where she talked to us about how to not hate our social media. Yeah, I still tea I still don't know if I don't hate my social media. Hey, but that brings like, when we were doing that topic, we had this like moment where we realized that part of hating social media was all kind of circulating around the topic of digital wellness. And it's something that he is super, super passionate about. And I feel like something we all kind of need to have an awareness of. So we're going to talk about it today. And she's gonna give us some tips on how to have a healthy relationship with technology and our phones. Alright, so enough about that. Tia, why don't you go ahead and just in case somebody didn't listen to the last episode, where you hung out with me introduce yourself, and tell us a little bit about your business.
Teah Hopper 2:50
Yep, I'm Tia hopper. I am here in Columbia, Missouri, but I have clients all over the country, I help them. I'm a social media strategist, coach, consultant speaker and I love to help business owners and anyone wearing the marketing hat, simplify their social media through a strategic approach. So I think so often people are just one reason why outside of this digital wellness topic they don't like it is because they don't actually have a strategy. Therefore, it feels like a waste of time and their efforts aren't working. So really help them dig into their business and their brand and their target audience and figure out where they should be online, how to help them get results but doing it in a way that they are excited about and they you know, are enjoying their content putting themselves out there. A lot of that is mindset work confidence building. But yeah, that's what I do have been doing that for. Let's see six years all in and a couple years before that as I was like working full time and doing it on the side. So that's me, I've got three little kids that I am also raising alongside running this business. And so I just I feel like the luckiest person in the world I get to kind of have the best of both worlds work. You know, make my schedule around them and be a mom and yeah, it's great. tiring, but great.
Monica Pitts 4:08
So tell me about your journey with digital wellness like when what sparked this for you to make it something that you wanted to like spread the word about?
Teah Hopper 4:18
Yeah, it honestly gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. So I said I had three kids when I was having was when I was on maternity leave with Niall my second. And I hadn't had my business, you know, for a couple of years at that point. But I've been in the marketing online social media space for years. And I loved it. I loved you know, being on my phone and all the you know, all the things but when I was off line more, you know, during that time not working so much not on my phone so much. I realized that like I was really enjoying it and when it came time to jump back into, you know, working and I was like kind of feeling anxious about it and I really They honestly had this like freakout moment of oh my gosh, like, how am I going to go back and tell people to use social media for their business and be on their phone all the time when like, I'm not wanting to do that, and it and I think part of it, you know, it's just probably age and, and I also feel like anytime I have a kid, I have a little bit of, like, big crisis moment in my life, like going back to work. And I'm like, but, um, it was funny as I part of what I was trying to do, you know, of course, when you own a business, you can't really take three months off. But I had been to Social Media Marketing World and I previously, and I was still trying to like, listen to some of the presentations that I couldn't attend. And so one night, my, my husband was gone with my daughter, and it was just me and the baby. And so I put on one of the presentations, I was just listening to the background, and it was on this topic of digital wellness. And I was like, this is like a presentation at a, you know, at the biggest social media conference in the world. And it was on digital wellness. And I'd never really, like heard the topic before. And it honestly just, like, changed everything for me. And I was like, Okay, this is the thing. And if I'm feeling overwhelmed by it, then other people who don't have a business, and social media and know how to use it, as well as I do have to also be feeling the same way. So maybe I can, like use this information, because I'm also very much into wellness. You know, in my life, maybe I can like lean in and use this. And so that's why I did it became a part of my brand. And I now like the people that kind of like you that reach out to me or those that are like, Hey, I know I need social media for my business. But I hate it. I don't want to use I don't want to be on all the time. How can you help me? And it's been amazing. And so yeah, it's just it's kind of a kind of part of like, of what I do and my approach to it and how I help people.
Monica Pitts 6:51
Now when we talk about digital wellness, I mean, my brain immediately goes to like, like phone, right? And I have a really interesting relationship with my phone. My husband doesn't always appreciate my relationship with my phone. Especially when we started dating because before phones became smartphones, and I could have a book on my phone. I never knew where it was. And I still never know where it is. But I'm more likely to know where it is because it has a book on it that I can read or listen to actually like my daughter last night.
Monica Pitts 7:26
She she was like, Hey, Mom, where's your phone? Find your phone? Hey, Ellis, where's my phone? And I was she was like making fun of me because like, I don't even know where it is.
Monica Pitts 7:37
So I've got like this thing I I don't know, like, I don't know where it is right now. But that's okay, because then I'm not going to get distracted talking to you. But I feel like digital health is like it's more than just a phone. I know, you're gonna probably talk to us about our phone today. But like, what else does it encompass?
Teah Hopper 7:55
Yeah, I mean, I think it's, I think, oftentimes it is the phone, right? Because that's what is attached to us. And we carry it around with us. But yeah, I mean, I think it is any, any type of screen or anytime, you know, so it could be a computer, it could be your TV. It could be your iPad, I mean anything. But yeah, when I think of digital health, I mean, it's simply just paying attention to I think our habits being really intentional with how we went like when we're online, how we're online, how that makes us feel, that could be online shopping, I mean, any of those things, but you know, when you think about like, Okay, what sucks me in? Or what am I thinking about when I start to kind of get a little antsy, like, what is the thing I want to go maybe like do to distract myself. But when we when we dive into it, it's it's figuring out those things to set up healthy, healthy habits. So that, you know, we can feel good about when when we're online. And then when we get offline, like you don't have that kind of hangover. But I think it ties into our mood. I truly think that how much time we're spending online. And the information we're taking in is a leading cause to anxiety and depression because we're trying to like use it as a way to connect. But we really need that like, real life in person connection. And of course, it can bridge that when we can't get that but if we're only trying to have those relationships and connect meaningfully, like online, and then we see you know, it's not authentic, we see like the picture perfect version of people. And that's what we're thinking is reality. Like there's so many things here, but it impacts us in our relationships and our expectations of people, you know, in so many ways. So it's a lot and I think we're up against a lot and for some reason, nobody's really paying attention to it or talking about it. You know, we talk about and think about our health in so many other ways, but I think this is really impactful.
Monica Pitts 9:49
Yeah, and I don't think it's just like those of you who are listening if you're like, well I don't have a problem with social media. Like for example I am sell them on social media. I actually hate it when I have to get on it for a client during the day. And I've tried to put it off until the end of the day because I get in there. And then I have no idea why I'm there for like five minutes. And I can't even, like my brain just shuts off and I can't even find the button where to click to find the thing that I'm trying to go to. It's so painful. And, and I love how you said that. No, the people out there are not really real. And I 100% agree with that. Because even just the other day, I posted an aerial video of like I was having the worst day I've been having a hard time doing my aerial because it's been so hot outside. And so I get up in my rig and I am just like melting, literally melting. And I can't even get anything pretty to post and so I just posted a video of myself melting and it was like the first one that I'm like, Oh my gosh, I have all these videos of me doing something pretty. But I don't have all these like hours and hours of practice in between where I just straight up sup and can't figure out how to get it done. Right. But then like also, you got like Amazon that you mentioned Netflix, I think could be a big one. Zillow.
Monica Pitts 11:15
Oh my gosh, we're so addicted to Zillow.
Teah Hopper 11:21
It's that support? Can I say that on here? Yeah.
Monica Pitts 11:26
I know what the inside of like every house in a four mile radius looks like right now. It's, I'm crazy. Here's
Teah Hopper 11:32
another one that I didn't realize I had a little bit of an addiction to I would addiction is a strong word. But like how I enjoy spending my downtime. Airbnb, like I love to plan trips that I'm never going to take an Airbnb now has an algorithm. I mean, it's the same, you know that like, how are you going to get your property or your house shown? There's an algorithm now to all of it. It's crazy. Yeah. And you know, they are that's their moneymaker is your time, like their currency is your time, they want to keep you on that app, or whatever, you know, your screen, if it's Netflix, like as long as possible. And these are major companies. And their job is I mean, it is they're trying to get you addicted binge binge watching Netflix, like that is the thing, we joke about it, but that's real. And they're all competing for our time. And so we're up against some really powerful, you know, and I think that's what's interesting is when I was kind of first trying this, it's like, it's like, oh, it's so addicting. And like, I just, I'm just going to try harder, and it's like, it's actually probably your willpower alone is probably not going to, you're probably not gonna be able to go up against them. You know, so that's why we have to like, okay, like, how do we like actually put in some, some things that we can do that that are going to make a difference versus just saying like, I'm gonna try not to get on my phone.
Monica Pitts 12:52
Yeah. Okay. So, tell me about some of those things. And I'm sorry, you guys if you hear Quimby barking in the background, this is, hey, Clem, be quiet. All right. We'll see if that works. Couldn't be is my dog. Okay. And she's hanging out with me today. Okay, so tell us some tips, tips about how instead of just saying, I'm not going to do it, right, because I feel like one of the things that sorry, small tangent. So my kids just transitioned from private school to public school. And like in the public school, they both have a Chromebook. They're expected to do things online, they're expected to work online, I think that's pretty powerful. Because like, I work all online, and if they can't do at least the level of like, like digital problem solving that their parents have, that's not really a fair assessment, I kind of solve problems through technology, not a fair assessment. If they can't solve problems digitally at least as good as their dad, then then how are they going to, like be in the real world? Right? But finding that like balance for them, right? Because at this point, Ellis cannot manage her. Like if she has an iPad, she's on it all the time. Like I have to regulate her constantly. And so I just took it away from her in June. And I haven't given it back yet. Just not going to I don't think that but then I feel like I'm failing her as a parent because she needs to know how to use technology and manage herself. All right, so tell me how I'm How do I do this?
Teah Hopper 14:28
It's so hard I agree with you. I mean, because in we're in unchartered territory, right? Like parents, I've never had to deal with this before. And I'm with you like I am very much like, we very much limit screens and we can talk about kids more and a little bit. But you know, and we've also had this hiatus we're just to completely take him away and honestly, it's off behavior. Why do we make such a difference? But my husband is like you and if you're a Gary Vee fan, he talks about this like, this is the future and they do have to know how to not only like use them, but also probably manage it which I think as they get older and their brains are more developed that it will get easier for them. But parents have never had to deal with this before. So it's like, I don't know where we screwed them up. I don't know. I
Monica Pitts 15:06
don't know, my mom always told me like so at first, I was worried because they watched too much like Netflix, you know, before they were old enough to have iPads. And my mom was like, Yeah, but Monica, when you were little, you just sat and you watched whatever was on the TV, I had no control over what of what you watched. And so she's like, now you can have the opportunity to actually choose what apps or for your kids have on their iPad and what shows that they watch. You can only allow them to watch, like educational shows. And at one point, they were watching so much
Monica Pitts 15:39
Netflix during the spring before it warmed up that I reset all of our Netflix settings to Spanish and they had to watch all of their Netflix in Spanish to decrease the amount that they watched and it really increased their reading levels to because they had to read the subtitle. That's amazing. I love it for athletes birthday her biggest present that I gave her in June so they went two months without English Netflix. So in June for her birthday, I turned Netflix back on English. She's like
Teah Hopper 16:20
Oh, I love it. Mob mob X. Yeah. I think you know, going back to like warning sign. I think it really goes back to just awareness. And you are so aware like and i That's why I think we could chat about this all day. Because I think we feel similarly about it. But so many people I think just are not aware. Like I saw something the other day. And it was like try not to pick up your phone at a stoplight. And I was like, you know, like, yeah, I would never do that. And then the first time I was at a stoplight, like there I was I was like, This is ridiculous. Like that's just in it's so it's just become such a habit. And so that for me when I was going down this journey, before I and I'll get I've gotten great tips. But like, for me, it was just the awareness of like, When am I picking up my phone? And like you were saying, you get on there for like work like so you're actually getting on there to do something or achieve something or send a text, you know, okay, great. But it's the times that you're like picking it up. Because in a lot of I think it just goes back to like boredom, oh, here comes some thoughts. I don't really want to have to actually like think about or just habitual. You're in the doctor's office, you pick it up, you know, instead of having conversation with the person next to you are reading the magazine or just being with your thoughts. And so just starting to pay attention. So when I know when when I was kind of paying attention, I noticed that a lot of times it was like when my husband picked his up and I was like, did I really want to be on my phone? No, but he picked his up. So what did I do? I picked mine up. So I started carrying a book around with me. And so if you've picked us up, I would open my book instead. And so that I think is the best thing is just to start to just shine a light on like, okay, when am I picking it up? And why? And then do I actually want or need to be on my phone? Or am I just doing it because because I'm bored. And that in itself will take you some time to kind of like figure out and master and get a handle on. And then I think once you kind of figure figure that out and figure out your why. Some things that I think can help you kind of make sure that you're because it all goes back to the digital distraction, right? Like if you don't want to be on your phone, but you're just getting sucked in by the distractions, what are some things you can do to, to quiet some of those distractions, so you're not constantly being pulled out of the amazing, wonderful life you're living and want to actually be present in. So one is just simply putting your phone on silent. And that, I mean, I feel like maybe I live in a different universe, but like I've done that for years now. And when I'm around people that have their phone on and it's constantly dinging I'm just like, and even my kids too, I noticed they're just constantly you know, and again, being sucked into this like, thing, like, drives me nuts. So that is a big one. And I can tell you like I'm barely I you know, I run my business on my phone and I have it on silent and it's okay, if you miss a notification for a few minutes or you miss a call, like it's okay, you're gonna survive, you're gonna be okay. Number two, you can clear off your your phone like like clean up your home screen and organize your apps into folders and reduce the clutter. Having your phone pop up with like a beautiful picture of your children or a landscape that you love it just you know, you'll realize the number of times you actually look at your phone and like to not see all the app in the notifications and instead see something really like that makes you it brings you joy is such a game changer. These are really simple things but they make such a difference. I just
Monica Pitts 19:39
have like my educational apps so like on on my main page on my phone, like I have a big picture that makes me happy. And then I have like a link to Duolingo because I'm like well there you go. I mean if you gotta pick up your phone and do something, learn some Spanish Right? Or and I also have like a link to my favorite audiobook app and a link to my favorite like normal ebook app. And it's like, those are the things that I see because it's not full. It's not you got to go to the second page, which has been full of all these little folders of stuff. And my husband's like, how do you find anything? And I'm like, Well, I there's a search feature.
Teah Hopper 20:18
Yeah. Looking for it. Because you want to use it. Yeah. And not because you get sucked in by them. Yeah.
Monica Pitts 20:25
Like, I can't even I can't even find podcasts. I can't find my podcast app. And look, I search for it because I buried it someplace. And I don't know where it is.
Teah Hopper 20:37
Isn't that for me? Yeah. He likes to you know, he grabs my phone and starts pushing stuff. And I'm like, Well, I don't know where that is. So I just say that to search for it. But it's not a bad. No,
Monica Pitts 20:44
it's not a bad thing. It's, I don't know, I think it's good, because then I don't have all the other stuff. And I don't see all these little red bubbles all over everything that makes me think oh, maybe I should check that out. Like, don't you?
Teah Hopper 20:57
Yep, absolutely. Yep. Um, yeah. And that's another thing you could do is turn off those notifications like, and then when you decide you want to go check them maybe once a day, like you go and manually check them, but they're not constantly again, distracting you and pulling you Yeah. This is another tip that has been such a game changer for me. And this is, you know, less like social media. But just when it comes to like time management, when it comes to digital stuff. And it the thought is that you never touch a message more than twice. So I didn't realize I was doing this until I came across this tip. It was like the number of times I'd opened email, like, oh, I don't know, I'm not quite ready to respond, whatever I would like flag it or mark it as unread. And then I'd come back to it never do anything, never. And it was like the number, the amount of time and just mental energy I was putting into that. And so it's like you read it. And then the next time you touch it, you either respond or you follow the light or you do something. And you can do that for your Facebook messages. You know, not just email, text messages, whatever it's been, again, there's simple little things, but they make such a difference.
Monica Pitts 22:04
Part of that could be like managing your to do list because some people like they manage their to do list through their email. Yeah, I find that a little tricky. I have to have to do lists, like I have the email and the email, lets me know that something has to be done. But if I'm really going to table it till tomorrow, then I ended up like I have a digital to do list. And so if it's a lot of email work, and I can't do it right now. And then I just put links literally to the emails as to do items, and I just archive it all. Because I don't I don't see it. I don't want to get in there and see their 75 tasks to do I just respond. I'm gonna do this tomorrow, and then I put it on tomorrow or the next day or whatever it is, because I just it makes too much. Too much. Yeah, it makes me so like, God bless the people who are managing their to do lists through their emails, or through text. How, okay, bunny trail, how tricky is it when you so like I communicate with people via slack, via email and via text. And Texas is almost all just my friends. Right? So then when clients get my phone number and they start texting me, it is so tricky. It's so tricky, because then like texts have this new urgency to them that they didn't have before. And I forget.
Teah Hopper 23:28
Yep, I'm the same way. I very rarely give my cell phone out for that reason. And I think that's good. You know, if you are a business owner, it's really good to tell your clients like my communication mode. Is this for me, it's email. And it's yeah, they do get a hold of my text. And because I'll just say, Hey, I don't you know, usually use this, can you email me just so I don't miss this or forget this, or I'll go email myself if it's easier. But I'm the same way. I don't use it for that. And so I don't go back and look at it for work stuff, you know. Yeah, but I think that brings up a good thing, just like in general, like time blocking, you know, or score, planning out these things, whether it's posting, checking notifications, but like setting aside time in the day to do them, so you don't feel like you have to do them all day. Maybe it's responding to DMS, like you over lunch, you take 10 minutes and respond to direct messages, if it's social or whatever it is. But But building them in your day so that you know you're going to do them and then you don't if you don't have to get sucked in notifications because you're like, Nope, I'm gonna do that later. And then you check it and then you're done with it for the day or for that part of the day. Maybe do it twice a day, whatever it is, but, and friends
Monica Pitts 24:38
turning off all of your notifications or making them all archive into a folder that you never look at in your email. I'm gonna tell you from experience what happens when you do that, you get hacked, and you don't ever know. It's really really bad and it takes you a really long time to fix it because Facebook Like, you're not hacked, it's fine. And it's like, yes, Facebook, I am hacked and I and then you have to like go back and forth with them forever to convince them that you're hacked, which doesn't even make any sense because if they like actually looked at the account, they would see. But anyway, so I love your idea to hear that you should block off time to do it. Because whether or not you're getting the notifications via email, or you're gonna go out into the actual system and check your notifications for whatever social you're checking, you have to check them. Or not only will you not be healthy, you won't be safe, and people will be spending your money. without you knowing it. They will like literally create ads in your ad account and run them on behalf of their teeny tiny tank tops over in Asia.
Teah Hopper 25:50
No, that's a really good point, though, too. Yeah, you can't just ignore it, right. That's why you have to have a system for it. Uh huh. To manage it. And I mean, I think you were talking about kind of your day to day, like, I'm the same way to I mean, I'm on it very much during the day when I'm working, but I'm not, I'm not just on it, like I get on and do my thing. But then at night, like, I'm off for a few hours, and then I'll usually like, check in before bedtime, you know, but so you're gonna have to figure that out what what's going to work for you. But I think the goal is just that you're not on it, and feeling sucked into it all the time. Because that just creates chaos overwhelm, you know, last tip. And then I also would love to share like a story. But one of the best things I've ever done is, and that I just think it's such a game changer. It's just using airplane mode. So and I might have shared this in the last one. But you know, you can just toggle it on and off really easily. And so when I was creating my course, I was really needed to like have time when I was working, where I wasn't being constantly pulled into email, text, whatever. And so I would get myself an hour to to work on my course and build it and I would just put my phone on airplane mode. And then I and I still do that. Now when I'm ready to like power down at bedtime, I put on airplane mode. And in the morning, what I love is like I don't wake up to my phone and all these notifications. Oftentimes that's like, I'm getting like, I've been up there with my kids. And then like maybe before we're getting ready to go to school, I turned my phone on just to make sure like, Okay, is there anything I need to know about school is or nanny healthy and coming today, all these things. But I decide when I'm ready to turn that on. And I'm not waking up to that. And the thing with bedtime. I mean, I don't turn it off. Like when my head hits the pillow. It's before and I have come time to come down. So and I also just use it throughout the day, but I don't want to be but but I love that in the control that it gives me but also when I do turn it on. I'm not you know, everything sold there and don't feel like I've like missed everything like okay, what did I do in the last hour to such a game changer that in itself,
Monica Pitts 27:50
I think that airplane mode would probably be better too. So I enabled like automatic Do Not Disturb times and like work times on my phone, which I think helps me a lot. Because then because I would have people texting me like my family lives in different time zones. They're texting me when it's normal for them. It's not normal for me. But um, but with airplane mode, when I turn it back on, then I would see those notifications. So you would do not disturb I don't see them. And then it could be like three days before I see your text hope to god, you aren't stranded on the side of a road someplace. You know, like, Oops,
Teah Hopper 28:29
yes. I love it too. Because when I first started doing it, my daughter was like, I think the in she was in like a daycare for the well no, not the first time but it was a newer daycare that I was a little bit like, uneasy as a strong word. But I just was always a little bit nervous about like, what if they need me kind of thing. And so I could turn it back on and know that like, okay, everything's right here. And I know what I've missed. And off we go. You know,
Monica Pitts 28:55
speaking of kids, do you have tips for kids? Like, you know, Mike and I were just trying to figure out, like, how do we allow, like our child to have access to her device. Because I mean, it's getting to the point where like, she's 12 It's not gonna be much longer before she probably needs to have a phone. And they don't really think about it. But like, when she wants to go to a football game with her friends by herself. That's when I think you need to have a phone, you know, because I just want to be able to have her call me if she needs something really is all there is to it. But then how do I make it so it's not weird, and they're not like, I don't know, doing bad stupid things.
Teah Hopper 29:41
I will say I don't I can talk about the littles in screens all day when it comes to the older ones, you know, I don't have them. So it's hard. I know there's I mean, I know there's apps and things you know you can do to limit and control. I mean, I think like you're already doing my plan when it comes to that. Have a just to hold out as long as I can. And then, you know, just do the very basic stuff to begin with.
Monica Pitts 30:07
I thought about just getting her
Monica Pitts 30:10
I thought about just getting her a flip phone. I actually like,
Monica Pitts 30:15
with our internet service provider, they're like, and you get to have one free phone line. And I was like, Do you have a flip phone? And they were like, what? And I was like, you know, one that doesn't get on the internet. And they're like, why? Oh, because and they were like, they kind of guilt tripped me. They said, well, Monica, you need to be teaching your kids about digital health, not just keeping them away from it. And I was like, okay, yeah, you
Monica Pitts 30:36
try that with a 12 year old flip phone might be the I'll get her a pager. pagers? Yeah. For several.
Teah Hopper 30:47
Yeah. Yeah, I think one thing that is, you know, you and I have talked about this offline, but like, that is really interesting to me. And it's great that they have you as an example. But when I've, you know, got so excited about this topic, because like, I want to share this with the world. And I will talk to people, they're always like, oh, yeah, do you like thought about going to elementaries? And like middle schools? And I'm like, No, it's not just for kids like, so I do think that, you know, it starts with us and teaching them healthy habits and modeling that for them. Because, you know, it's like, no, my one year old once my son all the time, because they see me carrying it around. And I mean, I'm pretty good about not being on it as much as possible, but like, it is a part of our life, what we can set healthy habits and show them you know, what it looks like? So, but I think it also comes down to the kid like you were saying earlier, you know, I have one too that is she's very sensitive and screens have been a battle man. And you know, first was like me, anytime we would try to get her off of it, it was so hard her brain it just but it's not just screened, it's whatever she's doing, she is all in it, you know, there's no one having a conversation. And so then I was like, we were very much limiting. And I was like, well, maybe she needs more of it too soon, she gets more used to it, you know, but, um, so I really think it comes down to the kid but all in all, I think, you know, trying to have boundaries and for us like with I have little kids, it's you know, we we try not to do screens during the week very much at all. But even we do it's like 2020 minutes, I think, you know, is for us a good rule of thumb, you have to kind of decide what is best for you. But I think being consistent. But when it comes like what they're watching, I think it's not, you know, I think so often we focus on the content, but what I've learned, like it's really about like, Is it fast paced edits? Is it bright, flashy lights? Is it really, you know, the music is it fast, and that is just too much for their brain. And so finding shows that are a little bit more like slower, is so much better for them. And if you look at it now, I mean, it's just crazy. Like it again, though, goes back to they're trying to get your kid to be addicted to I mean, that's what they're after, too. So that has been helpful for me to try to figure out okay, what's going to be a little bit less, you know, overstimulating? So a great resource for this is Jessica, and her last name is S c, e n n e s on Instagram, if you go follow her she has. I mean, this is like what she does, but she has a whole story highlight on TV reviews, and for different ages. And so I can tell you like the worst is coke melon, like and if now if you watch it with this in mind, you're like, oh, it's like, hurts, you know? And of course, that's what like everyone wants to stick my one year old in front of Coca Cola. And I'm like, No. One of the best and just all around, like best show ever is bluey. We love, love, love blue II. So, and again, I know I'm speaking more for like the littles than for your older ones. But I'm sure there's some great resources, and I'll try to find that and maybe they could send it to you for the older too. But and I think Jessica would would be able to speak to, you know, 12 year olds as well. But I think too, giving, you know, setting a timer. Okay, we're gonna watch for 20 minutes and then giving them a timer just like we, you know, would maybe time ourselves like, it's not bad for us to scroll but set a timer and kick yourself off after so many minutes. I think it goes for the same for them.
Monica Pitts 34:11
You can actually manage like all the screen time and stuff on your Apple device, and it works. Well. I mean, it's worked for my kids at least. And the other thing that I know with Abilene stuff so Abilene is nine, like I just I just took all the browser's off. I took YouTube off. So she gets to like play on the apps that are age appropriate for her when she had access to the browsers and YouTube. She was out finding all kinds of natures of things and like the questions that she would come back asking me were very adult in nature, and I was like, whoa. And and like at one point I had to put the browser back on her iPad because she needed to download and have access to a browser to be able to to you was an airplane app like we because we were flying and she wanted to watch the show. And then the next second that like, as soon as we land and we get like settled in our Airbnb, I get an alert. Hey, Abilene is out on on YouTube. Do you want to see what she's doing? And I was like, Sure. And this is all just set into your phone, right? Like, it's just, it's apple. And I was like, Sure. And I looked at it, and I'm like, not age appropriate, like, just go up. And I'm like, What's going on here, like, and I also feel like, so now that they can't get to it on their devices, they're gonna go to it on the television. And at least then, and I do let them do some of it on the television. Because you know, it's fun. But if I walk into the living room, and they have that stuff on and that like, I can't even cook dinner, because it's so distracting. Like, I keep getting sucked in, I'm like, we got to stop, you got to stop, you got to change to something else. I always tell him to turn off the brain rot. And what's funny is they just do it. They don't they don't fight me on it. They just do it. And so I guess that's an awareness thing, too, is like if it's if it's making you unable to concentrate, or it's grating on your nerves, then it's probably getting on their nerves, too. They just have a different tolerance for it. Right. So yeah, awareness. You
Teah Hopper 36:24
know, we don't know, too. Yeah, I think, you know, one good tip that I've heard it again, I think it's different for kids. Because my, my daughter, like, it doesn't matter what she's doing. I can't carry a conversation. But it's like, if they're watching something they shouldn't be able to, like, have a calm carry conversation, like if they're so in tune, like they're not hearing you their brains, it's probably Oh too overstimulating for them. So I think, yeah, again, it depends on a kid. But that would be another another good tip to kind of keep in mind.
Monica Pitts 36:53
I think the other thing you mentioned before we went online, too, is just emulating the behavior that you want to see from your kids and making sure that, you know, you set a good example for them. Like it was a long time ago that Mike and I said we weren't going to have cell phones at the dinner table. So now if somebody does have a cell phone at the dinner table, everyone asks, What are you doing on your phone? Like, not rudely just like or curious? Like, what's going on over there? It must be an emergency. Like, did someone break their leg? We don't know. And so I think if we emulate what we want to see, because I do have friends that complain about their kids screen time, and I'm like, Yeah, but you're on your phone all the time. So that, like, they're you guys are all acting the same. I look over at the couch, you're on the couch, the kids are on the couch. You're all on your phones, even though you're supposed to be visiting with real life people. It's not like they're just, it's just your family culture, like how do you shift culture? Yep, lead into it. Right. And so Oh, man,
Teah Hopper 37:57
I was thinking about that the other day, it all goes back to values, you know, we have family values. And I think so often, like, it goes, when you're making decisions, big or little, it goes back to like, what are your values? And yeah, I mean, it's not a, you know, for us values or moving our body being outside, you know. And I shared with you before, it was like, obviously, I have littles I run a business, like there are times where I like, do have to hop on and do something. But I say to my kids, like, hey, you know, I need to respond to this message, or I need to go get my computer and send an email really quick. And then we can go back to XYZ. I know, what do you think I'm ignoring you? It could also please, you know, try to give me not and not ask me 20 questions for the next five minutes, like, but it's setting expectations. And, yeah, I think that is helpful, you know, my phone is not more important than you. But also, like, let's just be real. We do live in a world where, like, I run my business on my phone. So there are times that I'm gonna have to get on it. And we can't, I mean, there, there are times where I'm like, I would love to move somewhere where I don't have to be connected. But as long as I'm living here, and it's not realistic, so how do we, you know, navigate these waters. So I'll actually this perfect time, I was going to kind of share the story because for me, this is what kind of clicked when I was first getting into this and figuring out like, how am I going to like I said, you know, walk this walk, you know, walk the walk of digital wellness, but also continue to have a social media business and not feel like a hypocrite. So I have food allergies, food sensitivities, you know, and when I first figured out I was sick, didn't feel well for years. And when I figured out that it was the food that I was eating, that was actually making me sick. I mean, it was kind of a similar mind blowing thing of like, but I didn't just stop eating like that wasn't realistic, right. So but what did I do? I paid attention to what I was eating, when I was eating it how much I was eating it and I didn't just like I still at times. It's like a piece of pizza with the gluten because I want to Because it sounds good, and you know, we all need those fixes and things. But I, for the most part, don't need that. Because I know if I do, I'm gonna feel a certain way. And so I think it's very similar to, you know, what we're talking about in the digital wellness of like, it's, it's not saying you can't ever be on Facebook, and it's not saying, you know, you're not ever going to be on your phone, it's saying that, let's just be aware of when we're on it, what we're consuming, how often we're consuming it and how it makes us feel, and maybe we need to stop being on some things or stop being on it at certain times of the day, or, you know, overall using it less, and just making sure that it's, it's, it's healthy, and what we're consuming is good for us. And maybe we decide to go on a, you know, Amazon binge, but we know that we shouldn't do that all the time. So I think that's, you know, really kind of what it comes down to, it's just what we're consuming. And I tell my daughter all the time, like, you know, it's not just, it's everything we we consume with our body when we listen to when she wants to listen to a song, I don't think it's appropriate. Like, I don't think that's good for you. You know, it's the products we put on our body. It's what we listen to anything. It's not just food, what we consume, it has an impact on our physical, mental, emotional health. And yeah, big picture, you know. And so it's part of our health.
Monica Pitts 41:15
I love the food reference. That's so good. And to, I think that is a great way to wrap up because it also reminds me that I can enjoy it. Like there's nothing wrong with enjoying it. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a slice of pizza, even if you are gluten intolerant. And because you know, what happens on the other end of that? Yeah, as a gluten intolerant human I know. Oh, I know. But it also doesn't mean you can't enjoy that piece of chocolate cake when you want it right. Like you get you make those choices, you understand what happens afterwards, and you make them anyway, and it doesn't mean you can't enjoy every single bite while you're doing it. So you can you can have your digital time and you can love it. You can absolutely love it. And you also have to be mindful that a diet based on nothing but pizza and chocolate cake will make you a hot mess. So balance. I love it. I love it. So to why don't you tell everybody how they can find you online. You got a great blog, I get your emails all the time. So maybe you could subscribe to emails, find more digital wellness.
Teah Hopper 42:25
Nothing, it's all in there. Yeah, my content they talk you know about how to be successful on social media, all the nitty gritty things, but also how to do it in a way that yeah, you you aren't online all the time and doesn't have to take over your life. So I am I on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, all just to Hopper, t h hrpp. Are my website is the same to hopper.com. So super easy to find me. Yep, you can. I've got some free resources out there content, calendars and things to organize to keep you organized and spend less time on social media. And you can subscribe to my newsletter, as you said, and I love talking about this. So if you are like looking for speaker or Yeah, or needing help with social media, whatever reach out to do free discovery call. So I'm happy to
Monica Pitts 43:16
chat. Yeah. And she's not just done for you service. Like she's not just going. She doesn't write like DHEA. And, and her team, they don't just write social media for people, they also help people get organized to do their own social media. So if you're like, oh, I don't like this and I'm stressed out about it, then you can have them help you like get your plan together. So that way you can feel in control, and move forward. And and be purposeful about that social media. So thank you so much for your time today. Tea, I really appreciate it. And everybody else, thank you so much for hanging out with us. And until next time, go forth and mark it with purpose, to get a copy of the show notes.
Monica Pitts 43:53
And all those links that we just heard from our guests, head on over to May create.com and may
[email protected]. And of course, I have to tell you the things that all podcasters are supposed to tell you at the end of your episode, like if you thought this was awesome, you could subscribe. And then I would like get to tell you when I have new stuff for you to learn and new episodes and new people to meet new stories to tell. And of course, I would really love it if you left a review. So head on over to May create.com. For those show notes, ma y e CR ea t.com Or maybe even contacted my team about building that next website. We can do it for you. And we even have our better than DIY website program that teaches you to plan and build your own website. So head on over to make create.com and may yecreat.com. I'll meet you over there
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
